From Feeling Low In Lockdown To Cat Masks & A Fuchsia Frenzy - Happy Birthday To Me.

For the first time since the pandemic lockdown in England four months ago I felt a moment of normalcy and it happened in front of the fuchsias in B&Q at five o’clock last Saturday night. It was the last thing I was expecting, but in hindsight it makes perfect sense.

My mind has been like a cat on a Roomba hoover for the last few months, having a thought, heading in one direction, then hitting a wall and bouncing off in another random direction, over and over and over again, collecting idea crumbs and picking up bits of thinking detritus. It was hard enough trying to decide on yet another career at the Brexit of times, but then came the pandemic and a permanent state of paralysis from confusion, anxiety and sorrow in amongst so much loss.

I had locked myself in the house with Begonia and planned only to survive. I’ve had a prolonged near fatal experience before, so that bit I could cope with quite easily. What I began to struggle with was the catastrophic government and the huge amount of death that was being hidden under a damp carpet of community conga spirit, plus the real concept that nothing was ever going to be the same again. In theory that is not such a bad thing, as it was terrible before, but the notion of a positive change is naive and the brief trips to the shop, which should have been a relief, where an ordeal and more stressful than staying in.

It was that wot got me. The very basic things that make me happy - like going to the garden centre or a walk in the park, were now harrowing experiences. I think, along with millions of others who had silently locked themselves away in isolation, I had slipped into a national depression.

Last Thursday something changed. I went out to do my essential shop but also to find more masks, as I had never gone out without one, but it was plain black (to match my mood and my outfit) and I needed a change. All I can say is thank you TK Maxx for providing a life changing moment of joyous cat silliness. The tabby mask provided the viewer with a double-eyed psychedelic experience, while the close-eyed lion looks like Chewbacca if you wear it upside down. It was my first proper giggle.

They’re both the faces I always wanted.

So, Saturday, and my birthday weekend, came and I took my tabby face out for the first jaunt. The atmosphere was definitely more relaxed outside and I think it was because everyone knew where they stood, masks were finally mandatory in shops, every single person had one one, no one said a word about it, I genuinely think most people want everyone to wear a mask, in spite of the telly trying to whip up an anti-mask riot, and for the first time in months things felt normal. It was nice.

I clearly got swept along in my nice new normal, because I went into B&Q for wall brackets to hang those planters I’ve been meaning to hang for months and came out three hours later with ten plants and a new fuchsia obsession.

A birthday bonanza.

I haven’t had any great emotional nor creative epiphany during the lockdown, but one thing I did do was get over the anxiety about being shit at something and started making little videos for Youtube. I actively embraced being a bit crap, and being confined to the house and yarden, I filmed my plants.

I had decided not to tell anyone I knew I was making videos, because I didn’t want to feel confined by their judgement. There was one carefully chosen friend however who I knew would be supportive and without knowing it she had actually encouraged me to get on with it.

One of the very first videos featured two fuchsias I’d picked up at the supermarket and I confessed I had held a long secret distrust of fuchsias for most of my adult life. I was questioned by the carefully selected friend about this and realised my mistake when I tried and failed to explain why. What a waste of a life. For some ridiculous reason I thought they were fake and vulgar - two qualities I adore in fashion. I thought they were an over-cultivated folly of old men fiddling in greenhouses for years…. and that bees wouldn’t like them. I’m an idiot. I was wrong.

I can only apologise to the world of fuchsias and on Saturday they threw their fuchsia love at me and I caught it. It was like they had turned up en masse to wrap their glorious open arms around me. Thank you fuchsias, I’m here to make it up to you.

BRIEF HISTORY

Largely native to Central and South America, but not exclusively, some species can also be found in Hispaniola, Tahiti, New Zealand, and the first fuchsia to be “discovered” was in the Dominican republic.

“The first fuchsia was discovered in the Dominican Republic in the late 17th Century by Father Charles Plumier, a missionary and botanist of that time. He named the plant Fuchsia triphylla coccinea  after Leonard Fuchs, a German botanist who had died 100 years earlier. Incidentally, his name was pronounced ‘Fooks’ so perhaps we should be pronouncing fuchsias as ‘fooksias'.” ~ www.fuchsiaflower.co.uk

THE LEGEND

Legend has it that British sailor, Captain Firth, brought the first fuchsia back to England around 1850 as a present for his wife. It was apparently spotted by a canny businessman as he walked past the window where Mrs Firth kept the plant, and he thought he could make a few quid - we’ve all been there (geranium Attar of Roses earned me a nice wedge in the past).

So, this Victorian plant-hunting Alan Sugar bought the plant for 80 quid of Seaman Firth and flogged as many cuttings as he could. I hope Mrs Firth kept a cutting, or at least got a cut of the money.

Who knows if it’s true, but it sounds plausible.

SYMBOLISM

The fuchsia is a symbol of elegance, good taste, confiding love and amiability. Perhaps that’s why I didn’t like it.

TRIVIA

‘In the Pokémon video games, there is a city called Fuchsia City in the Kanto region. This is where players obtain their sixth Kanto League Badge, the Soul Badge.’

MY HAUL

JOLLIES NANCY the first two I bought in my fuchsia awakening. I spent ages choosing them in the supermarket under a steamy black mask from a set of dark shelves next to the pie warmer in Morrisons. One was called ‘Seasonal’, lol, so we decided to call it after my friend’s daughter - ‘Isabel’. Unfortunately, now it’s bloomed, its exactly the same as Jollies Nancy, but it will always be Isabel to me.

Fuchsia Jollies Nancy - aka Isabel.

SHANIA - aka ‘Lady’s eardrops’. It is a rescue specimen, bought from the clearance section in a critical state and only because it is an unusual cream and pale blue colour combination and is attractive to butterflies (when in good health). I do not hold out much hope for it.

One sick Fuchsia Shania

I might have gone too far.

DOLLAR PRINCESS - the name put me off (couldn’t stop thinking about Ivanka), but the bees were mad for it and it is genuinely fabulous, so I thought I would rename it when I got to know it. Danny La Rue has just come to mind.

Fuchsia Dollar Princess - aka Danny La Rue.

BEACON - I was entranced by it’s luminous beauty. By far my favourite. When I picked it up to decide whether it was for me or not a big fat bumble bee shoved it’s rump up into every flower bell, so no hesitation. I sat staring at it all day when we got home.

Fuchsia Beacon - beaming like one.

Fuchsia Beacon against a red brick wall - so good it gets two photos.

ALICE HOFFMAN - It’s a bountiful abundance of lipstick pink flowers. Joyous! I assume it is named after the American author of Practical Magic - I have a converted bath/grave planter available for burying any evidence if she calls.

Fuchsia Alice Hoffman - practically magical.

DELTA’S SARAH - Blue! It’s not in great condition, but there were only two left and it’s BLUE! Apparently you can add the flowers to salads, crystallise the petals as a garnish and the friend who converted me to the joy of fuchsias also told me you can eat the berries. I told her firmly she’d gone too far too fast. I had just come round to having one in the house, I was not ready to eat one.

Fuchsia Delta’s Sarah

FUCHSIA FINALE - The condition of all the fuchsias from Saturday’s haul is quite weak, leggy and with lots of soft growth, so to add to the excitement, I’m going to cut them back hard and try to propagate the cuttings in water, I’ll let you know how I get on.

Cuttings carnage.

Fuchsia cuttings in vintage style.

And here’s my latest Youtube video. Proudly a little bit crap - that’s my chosen genre. I made it slow and quiet for your relaxing entertainment. I hope it makes you feel calm and happy. Please subscribe and leave a nice comment, it’s the only way I’ll get better. (It’s never gonna be any better, this is me at my best).